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The “Worthiness” To-Do List (And Why You Should Burn It)
Let’s be real for a second. How much of your day is spent trying to be… better?
A better employee, a better partner, a better parent, a better friend. A better-read, better-looking, better-organized, better-at-baking-sourdough version of yourself.
If I'm honest, my mental to-do list isn't just "buy milk" and "finish project." It's often a hidden list of ways I need to improve before I can finally feel... well, good about myself. It’s like I’m constantly trying to earn my "I'm worthy" badge for the day.
And then, I stumbled across this quote from the absolutely brilliant Viola Davis, and it just stopped me in my tracks:
"You don't have to be anything but yourself to be worthy."
Just... let that sink in for a moment.
What if that’s it? What if all the running, and striving, and performing, and perfecting is... optional?
We live in a world that is obsessed with conditional worth. We're constantly sold the idea that we’ll be happy when we get the promotion. We'll be lovable if we lose the weight. We'll be successful once we have the bigger house or the perfect Instagram feed.
It’s a hamster wheel, isn't it? We’re all just running towards a version of ourselves we think will finally be enough.
But Viola Davis is handing us a permission slip to just get off the wheel.
This quote isn't saying "don't have goals" or "don't try to grow." It's saying that your worth isn't the prize at the end of the race. Your worth is the fact that you get to be in the race at all.
"Being yourself" doesn't even mean being a "finished product." It doesn't mean you're perfect or you have it all figured out.
It means the messy, anxious, still-figuring-it-out, work-in-progress parts of you are just as worthy of love and respect as the parts you put on your resume. It means you are worthy on your bad days, on your grumpy days, on the days you don't check a single thing off your list.
You are worthy when you’re failing. You are worthy when you’re resting. You are worthy when you’re just… being.
This all sounds lovely, but man, it's hard to practice, right? So how do we actually live this?
I think it starts with just noticing.
- Notice the "if/then" statements you tell yourself. "If I just get through this stressful week, then I'll be able to relax." (Why not be worthy of a 10-minute break right now?)
- Notice when you're separating your "doing" from your "being." You can do something that fails, but that doesn't make you a failure.
- Notice all the layers you've piled on top of "yourself" to be more acceptable to the world. Maybe it’s less about becoming something and more about un-becoming all the stuff that isn't really you.
Look, this isn't a one-and-done "aha!" moment. It's a practice. It's un-learning a lifetime of conditional worth.
But the idea that we can just put down the weight? The constant, heavy weight of trying to be worthy? That sounds like freedom.
Your worth isn't on the other side of that promotion, or that diet, or that perfectly clean house.
It’s right here. It's you. Just as you are. Right now, reading this.
You don't have to be anything but yourself.
So, I have to ask: What's one "worthiness condition" you're tired of carrying? Let's talk about it in the comments.
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