Sunday's Mental Health Check-In - November 30, 2025

Teeth Do Not See Poverty: A Sunday Reflection

Happy Sunday! I hope you are taking a gentle moment for yourself today.

I was scrolling through some thoughts for our weekly mental health check-in when I stumbled across a Maasai proverb that stopped me in my tracks. It’s short, a little unusual at first glance, but incredibly profound:

"Teeth do not see poverty."

Originating from the Maasai people of Kenya and Tanzania, this phrase is a powerful reminder about the nature of joy and human dignity.

What does it mean?

Literally, it means that when you smile, your teeth look the same whether you are rich or poor. Your teeth don't know your bank account balance. They don't know if you're having a rough week, if you're struggling with anxiety, or if you feel like you're barely keeping it together.

Metaphorically, it’s a reminder that a smile is a universal sign of hope that doesn't depend on your material wealth or current circumstances.

Why this matters for our mental health

In the world of mental health, we often talk about "resilience," but sometimes that word feels heavy—like we have to be tough armor all the time. This proverb offers a softer version of resilience.

It suggests that joy isn't something we have to "earn" by having everything in our lives perfect. It’s not a reward for fixing all our problems. Joy—and the smile that comes with it—is something that belongs to us simply because we are human.

It’s not about "faking it." This isn't about toxic positivity. It’s not about grinning through the pain and pretending everything is fine when it isn't. It’s about realizing that even in the midst of "poverty"—whether that be financial lack, emotional exhaustion, or a depressive episode—the capacity for a moment of lightness still exists.

Your Sunday Check-In

So, for this Sunday's check-in, I want to challenge you to think about this proverb.

When we are going through hard times, we sometimes feel guilty for laughing or smiling. We feel like we should be in "survival mode" 24/7. But the Maasai wisdom tells us that our smile is separate from our struggle. It is a rebel act to find a moment of joy when things are hard.

Try this today:

• Find a "Glimmer": Look for one tiny thing that makes you want to show your teeth. A funny meme, a dog walking down the street, the taste of your coffee.

• Release the Guilt: If you find yourself laughing today, don't police it. Let it happen. Your teeth do not see the struggle; they only see the joy.

Remember, your circumstances might be heavy right now, but your ability to smile remains yours. It’s a piece of you that the hard times can't touch.

Wishing you a peaceful week ahead.

 

The Lotus, the Pearl and the Light - A comic strip from the Akua Project by Rakia Ari - 11.27.25

Story by Rakia Ari

Imagery Via Gemini AI

 

Sunday Mental Health Check In - November 23, 2025

Stop Paying with Your Sanity

Happy Sunday, everyone.

I was scrolling through my feed this morning, getting ready for the week, when I stumbled across a quote by Keri Hilson that stopped me mid-swipe. You might have seen it floating around, but I think it deserves more than just a double-tap. It deserves a deep breath and a moment of real silence.

She said: "You don't owe anyone years of your life in exchange for the decline of your mental and emotional health."

Read that again.

We live in a culture that loves to romanticize "sticking it out." We give gold medals for suffering in silence. We pride ourselves on loyalty—loyalty to jobs that drain us, relationships that diminish us, and friendships that have long since expired. We look at the calendar and think, "Well, I've already put five years into this. I can't just walk away now."

But here is the hard truth that Keri’s quote brings to the surface: Time is not a currency you should use to buy your own unhappiness.

The "Sunk Cost" Trap

There is this heavy feeling of debt we carry, isn't there? We feel we owe people our presence because of shared history.

• "We've been friends since high school."

• "This company gave me my first shot."

• "My partner and I have been through so much together."

History is valuable, yes. But history is not a suicide pact for your spirit. Just because you have spent a long time making a mistake doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life making it.

Recognizing the Price Tag

Everything has a cost. Usually, we think in terms of money or time. But what if we started pricing things in terms of our mental health?

If a job pays you a six-figure salary but requires you to live in a state of constant, high-cortisol panic, that job is too expensive.

If a relationship offers you security but requires you to walk on eggshells every single day to avoid an explosion, that relationship is too expensive.

If a friendship offers you nostalgia but leaves you feeling drained and unworthy after every coffee date, that friendship is too expensive.

You Are Not Being Selfish; You Are Being Smart

Walking away often feels like a betrayal. We worry we are being selfish or flaky. But preserving your mental and emotional health isn't an act of betrayal against someone else; it is an act of rescue for yourself.

You are the only person who has to live inside your head 24/7. You are the custodian of your own peace. If the environment you are in is toxic, you cannot heal. You cannot grow. You are just surviving. And you don't owe anyone your survival mode.

The Check-In

So, for this Sunday Mental Health Check-In, I want you to ask yourself the uncomfortable question:

What am I currently paying for with my peace of mind?

Is there a situation where you are trading your emotional stability for someone else's comfort? Are you staying somewhere solely because you feel like you "owe" them your time?

Let this be your permission slip. You don't owe them. You owe yourself a chance to be happy. You owe yourself a future that looks brighter than your past.

Take care of your heart this week. It’s the only one you’ve got.

— Your Sunday Reset

When Memories Become Nightmares - A Written Series from the Akua Projects by Rakia Ari - The First and Final Entry

It will have been ten long years since he left, this month. 

And as every year previous, he haunts my dreams summoning me here to this dark place.

I hear his voice directing me closer and closer.

Closer through the pain of many attacks from the surrounding branches and thorns.

Each attack draws blood; I feel it on my skin as beads of sweat but painful.

I can only close my eyes to protect them, because I can not turn back.

As he pulls me deeper into his forest, the attacks continue.

Each cut from a throne or branch, brings a rush that is accompanied by a memory.

The memories flash like night and day. 

With one painful attack; I remember a kiss and with another I remember crying.

The curse of these memories is the motivation to smile and cry at the same time.

I just want him to let me go, why does he keep bringing me here?

He never speaks, he just looks at me.

It always leaves me frozen and torn between running and coming closer

His big beautiful dark brown piercing eyes are penetrating my soul and mind.

Picking out memories to haunt me as if he were choosing outfits from the back of my closet.

He tears through my closet of hidden memories, snatching them out one at a time.

They flash before me as they are expelled into the air and slowly falling before me like a slow snow falling.

The forest is thick and the branches and thorns hurt and I can barely see the sky and the moon. Just when I felt my inner voice ask how much longer, I am here and he is there in front of me.

There he was, perched and reaching for me to join him. 

I attempted to turn away and I felt his voice, “Please stay with me, I still love you.”

Hearing, well feeling those words warmed and frightened me because I knew I was going to him.

Against the voice of self-preservation, I wanted to be with him in Love and that was all that mattered.

I had so many questions perched there next to him, hand in hand, but I did not speak.

We sat there in Love, only the sounds of the Forest replaced what would have been our silence.

He broke our silence with, “I know you want me to let you go and it is probably the right thing to do, but I can’t!” The truth is I don’t want him to let me go, ever!

He kept my hands in his, sometimes holding tighter than others. 

Hypnotizing me with his eyes and overwhelming me in memories.

Every memory included his kiss, I have never felt a kiss like his.

As the memories flooded over me, I realized he was actually kissing me while telling me to close my eyes; as he always did when we kissed.

‘...some memories never leave your bones, like salt in the sea; they become a part of you - and you carry them.’

He read that to me from a book once and now it rings in my ears as if he is reading it to me again.

We sat there in silence as I looked over the branches and thorns that attacked me.

He began to attend to my wounds left by the Forest, starting with my feet and using his lips.

He kept a slow and steady pace, not missing one scratch with his full lips.

“I miss you,” he whispered against my skin beneath his kiss.

He lifted his head after the last kiss and looked me in the eye, “Why do let me bring you here?” I replied,

“Because I still believe in you, I still love you and how else can I have your touch?”

So he touched my ear and noticed the tightenings underneath my sheer ripped dress, “Is that a spot, too?”

I replied through a grin, “It isn’t where you touch me, but BECAUSE YOU touch me.”

“It’s getting late, you have to go back,” he whispered softly and reluctantly. 

I only looked ahead, because I wanted to ask to stay…I wanted him to ask me to stay.

He took my hand as we began the climb to our fall together down the hole to take me back.

As we arrived at the top, I grabbed him and whispered, “Please not yet, don’t send me away.”

The whisper was airy and desperate.

He replied in the same manner, “I am always with you, ball and chain.”

In reply I punched at him and said, “Don’t Tease Me.” 

He smiled and asked, “You remembered?”, as he squeezed me closer

The tighter he held me, the slower our descent.

We weren’t making love but we were.

FALL LIKE AUTUMN

EVER IN LOVING ARMS SAFE

PROTECTED DARKNESS

We drew closer and I clutched him with a vice-like squeeze.

As he matched my grip, I could smell home.

With another deep inhale, we were here and I could not bear to leave the embrace…his embrace.

I just wanted him to ask me to stay with him, so I could say yes.

Slowly, we started the walk to my door.

It is a short walk that seemed to last forever; for every step forward, there was a circular pause like a dance.

We arrive at my door and I am thrown back to our place. The journey, the passion and the fall back to reality.

How can I continue loving like this? How can I stop loving like this?

I could not have this love in life.

Which leaves me with the inbetween to live this love.

When Memories Become Nightmares - A Written Series from the Akua Projects by Rakia Ari - Where This Began on October 15, 2019

From Writer's Block to Ebook: My Project's Unexpected Journey

Ever get stuck? I mean, really stuck?

A while back, I was fighting a massive case of writer's block, and this whole project started as a little exercise I created for myself to just get something on the page.

The inspiration came from a movie series I'd seen. It was one of those where they took a bunch of short films and wove them into a larger series. I still can't remember the name of it or the network (so frustrating!), but the idea stuck with me: from small acorns, do great oaks grow.

So, I set a simple, low-pressure goal. I'd post two-sentence "story seeds" every week. I knew daily would be way too much pressure at the time, but weekly felt doable. I paired these little snippets with some stock images I’d bought and posted them mostly on Instagram. It was just a way to keep the creative muscles working. Later on, I even compiled them into a short video (posted at the top).

The whole time, the "grand plan" was to eventually use each of those little two-sentence entries as a prompt for a full short story.

But... you know how it goes. Life happens.

I'll be honest, I never made it to a full 52 entries. I had moments of inspiration, but then I'd skip weeks. Those weeks turned into months. And for a long, long while, the whole project just sat there, collecting digital dust.

Then, after way too much time had passed, I decided to revisit it. I had all these seeds, so why not try to grow them?

This time, though, I decided to use AI to create my images for each story. And that is when things got really interesting.

I quickly realized that to get the images I actually wanted, I needed to be way more detailed in my prompts. This, in turn, made me look hard at my own writing. I had intended to write stories that spoke on more than just one culture, but I found that my stories weren't painting a clear enough picture for the AI to "see" what I wanted.

It was a real "aha!" moment. If the AI couldn't see the diversity I was aiming for, a human reader probably couldn't, either. So, I had to go back and adjust the stories themselves—to add the detail, the color, and the specifics needed to paint the appropriate picture. The AI, in a weird way, became an unexpected editor that forced me to be a more descriptive writer.

And that brings us to today! I'm genuinely so excited to be republishing this whole process as an ebook. I'm still deciding on the final layout, but I'm going to include everything—the original two-sentence exercise (the "before") and the finished short story project that grew out of it (the "after").

I was really tempted to go back and edit that finished project again, but I've decided to add it "as is." It just feels more honest, you know? It's a snapshot of the entire messy, stop-and-start, unexpected creative journey.

It’s funny how a little exercise to get unstuck can take on a life of its own. What started as a cure for writer's block ended up becoming a lesson in descriptive writing, all thanks to an AI. Crazy.

Anyway, that’s the story behind the project. Thanks for reading!

Sunday Mental Health Check-in for November 16, 2025

The “Worthiness” To-Do List (And Why You Should Burn It)

​Let’s be real for a second. How much of your day is spent trying to be… better?

​A better employee, a better partner, a better parent, a better friend. A better-read, better-looking, better-organized, better-at-baking-sourdough version of yourself.

​If I'm honest, my mental to-do list isn't just "buy milk" and "finish project." It's often a hidden list of ways I need to improve before I can finally feel... well, good about myself. It’s like I’m constantly trying to earn my "I'm worthy" badge for the day.

​And then, I stumbled across this quote from the absolutely brilliant Viola Davis, and it just stopped me in my tracks:

​"You don't have to be anything but yourself to be worthy."

​Just... let that sink in for a moment.

​What if that’s it? What if all the running, and striving, and performing, and perfecting is... optional?

​We live in a world that is obsessed with conditional worth. We're constantly sold the idea that we’ll be happy when we get the promotion. We'll be lovable if we lose the weight. We'll be successful once we have the bigger house or the perfect Instagram feed.

​It’s a hamster wheel, isn't it? We’re all just running towards a version of ourselves we think will finally be enough.

​But Viola Davis is handing us a permission slip to just get off the wheel.

​This quote isn't saying "don't have goals" or "don't try to grow." It's saying that your worth isn't the prize at the end of the race. Your worth is the fact that you get to be in the race at all.

​"Being yourself" doesn't even mean being a "finished product." It doesn't mean you're perfect or you have it all figured out.

​It means the messy, anxious, still-figuring-it-out, work-in-progress parts of you are just as worthy of love and respect as the parts you put on your resume. It means you are worthy on your bad days, on your grumpy days, on the days you don't check a single thing off your list.

​You are worthy when you’re failing. You are worthy when you’re resting. You are worthy when you’re just… being.

​This all sounds lovely, but man, it's hard to practice, right? So how do we actually live this?

​I think it starts with just noticing.

• ​Notice the "if/then" statements you tell yourself. "If I just get through this stressful week, then I'll be able to relax." (Why not be worthy of a 10-minute break right now?)
• ​Notice when you're separating your "doing" from your "being." You can do something that fails, but that doesn't make you a failure.
• ​Notice all the layers you've piled on top of "yourself" to be more acceptable to the world. Maybe it’s less about becoming something and more about un-becoming all the stuff that isn't really you.

​Look, this isn't a one-and-done "aha!" moment. It's a practice. It's un-learning a lifetime of conditional worth.

​But the idea that we can just put down the weight? The constant, heavy weight of trying to be worthy? That sounds like freedom.

​Your worth isn't on the other side of that promotion, or that diet, or that perfectly clean house.

​It’s right here. It's you. Just as you are. Right now, reading this.

​You don't have to be anything but yourself.

​So, I have to ask: What's one "worthiness condition" you're tired of carrying? Let's talk about it in the comments.

Sunday Mental Health Check In - November 9, 2025

 

The Bravest Thing You Can Do This Week: Share Your Confidence

Hey there. Since it's Sunday, let's do a little mental health check-in, shall we?

How are you feeling? And maybe just as important: how are the people around you really feeling?

We talk a lot about self-care and self-confidence. We write affirmations, we set boundaries, we try to be our own biggest cheerleaders. And all of that is incredibly important.

But I want to talk about something else today. Something that's an act of care for others that also, almost magically, lifts us up too.

Be brave enough to share your confidence in others.

It sounds simple, doesn't it? But think about it. How often do you see potential in someone—a friend, a coworker, your partner, even a stranger—and just... keep it to yourself?

You see your friend who is an amazing listener and think, "She would be such a great counselor." You watch a junior colleague handle a difficult customer with incredible patience and think, "Wow, they've got real leadership skills."

And then what? We file it away. We "like" their post. We move on.

But what if you shared that confidence? What if you were brave enough to say it out loud?

Why Is It "Brave"?

It feels a little vulnerable, doesn't it? To genuinely, specifically, and openly tell someone, "I see this strength in you, and I believe in you."

It's brave because:

• You're putting your judgment on the line. You're making a statement.

• You're being earnest. And let's be honest, in a world full of irony and sarcasm, being truly earnest can feel like walking around without your armor on.

• You don't know how they'll react. They might brush it off (probably because they don't see it in themselves yet).

But here's the secret: Your confidence can be the missing ingredient they need to build their own.

Sometimes, we are a terrible judge of our own strengths. We live inside our own heads, where our "Inner Critic" has the loudest microphone. We see our strengths as "just things we do," not as "talents."

When you share your confidence in someone, you're handing them a different microphone. You're offering them a new script to read from.

It's More Than a Compliment

This isn't just about saying, "Nice shoes!" or "Good job on that email." Those are great, but this is deeper.

Sharing your confidence sounds like:

• "Hey, I know you're nervous about leading that meeting, but I'm not. I've seen how you explain complicated ideas. You're the perfect person for this."

• "I really admire the way you keep your cool when things get stressful. It has a calming effect on the whole team, including me."

• "You mentioned you wanted to start that small business. I want you to know, I think that's an amazing idea and you have the exact creativity and drive to make it work."

See the difference? It's specific. It's genuine. And it's an investment. You're not just giving a compliment; you're giving them a piece of your belief.

The Ultimate Mental Health Boost

This is where it comes back to our check-in. When you do this, you're not just boosting their mental well-being; you're boosting your own.

You are actively creating a world where people lift each other up. You're building stronger, more authentic connections. You're shifting your own focus from "what's wrong" to "what's right" and "what's possible."

It feels good to be the person who spots the gold in others.

So, here's your challenge for the week.

Be brave. Find one person—just one—and share your confidence in them. Tell them a specific strength you see in them and why you believe in them.

It might be the most important conversation you have all week.

Sunday Mental Health Check-in 11.2.2025

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☕ Sunday Mental Health Check-In: Are You Listening? Learning to Trust Your Inner Voice

Hey, how are you really doing today?

Welcome to our Sunday Mental Health Check-In. Let's grab a mental cup of tea and chat about something that’s so easy to say but so much harder to do: learning to trust your inner voice.

You know the one I’m talking about.

• That quiet little whisper when you’re making a decision.

• That "gut feeling" that just tells you something is... off.

• That little nudge toward something that makes you happy, even if it doesn't make logical "sense."

That’s the voice. And in a world that is so full of noise, it’s usually the first one we ignore.

Why Is It So Hard to Listen?

Let’s be real: we’re taught to outsource our decisions. We look at reviews before we buy a product. We ask our friends what they think we should do about our relationship. We scroll social media to see what everyone else is doing, wearing, and thinking.

The world is LOUD. Your inner voice is a whisper.

We get so busy listening to the "shoulds," the "musts," and the opinions of others that we completely tune out the one expert who actually lives inside our own head: Ourselves.

We don't trust it because we’re afraid of being wrong. We’re afraid of being a "failure." But here’s the secret: listening to everyone else and still feeling unhappy is its own kind of failure, isn't it?

Your inner voice isn’t here to judge you; it’s here to guide you. It’s your most loyal compass.

How to Start Tuning In (Gently)

If you feel like your connection to that voice is non-existent, that’s okay! It’s not gone. It’s just been drowned out. Learning to trust it is a practice, like strengthening a muscle. You don't start by bench-pressing 300 pounds. You start small.

1. Practice on Low-Stakes Decisions

You don't need to start by asking your inner voice if you should quit your job. Start with lunch.

Seriously. Stand in your kitchen and ask, "What does my body really want to eat right now?" Don't think about what's "healthy" or "fastest." Just listen for a second. Do you want something warm? Something crunchy? Something sweet? Start honoring those small, simple needs.

2. Find the Quiet (Even 5 Minutes)

You can't hear a whisper in the middle of a rock concert. You can't hear your inner voice while scrolling, watching TV, and running errands all at once. Give yourself tiny pockets of silence.

• When you first wake up, before you grab your phone.

• On your drive, turn the radio off.

• In the shower.

Just... be. Ask yourself, "How am I feeling right now?" And just listen. No judgment. Just listen.

3. Be a Kind Investigator

When you get a "gut feeling," just notice it. "Interesting. My stomach feels tight about going to that party tonight."

You don't have to act on it immediately. But later, check in. "Was that feeling right? Yeah, I went, and I felt drained." Or, "I stayed home, and I feel so much peace."

You’re building a "trust log" in your brain. The more you can prove to yourself that your inner voice knows what's up, the louder and clearer it will get.

Your "Check-In" For the Week

Your intuition is your most authentic guide. It already knows what you need, what brings you peace, and what’s right for you. It’s not magic; it’s the sum of all your life experiences and unspoken knowledge.

So, my question for you this week is:

What is one small way you can practice listening to your inner voice?

Let me know your thoughts. Be kind to yourself today.