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In this week’s Mental Health Check-In, we discussed the danger of underestimating small things. A small match starts a forest fire. A small sentence ruins a relationship.
Have you listened to the podcast yet? We’re diving deep into how to choose peace over chaos.
Drop a 🕯️ if you are choosing peace this week.
"You worry too much about what goes into your mouth and not enough about what comes out of it." - Chef Leah Chase
"You worry too much about what goes into your mouth and not enough about what comes out of it." - Chef Leah Chase
"You worry too much about what goes into your mouth and not enough about what comes out of it." - Chef Leah Chase
If you look closely at the image attached to this post, you’ll see it’s labeled as a "Holiday Mental Health Check-In" from The Akua Project. And honestly? It couldn't be more timely.
The holidays are often framed as the season of endless giving. We give our time, our energy, our money, and our emotional bandwidth. But there is a very specific, stinging type of pain that comes when that generosity is met not with thanks, but with hostility.
The image shares a West African proverb that captures this feeling perfectly:
"The way a donkey expresses gratitude is by giving someone a bunch of kicks."
It’s a warning about ingratitude. It reminds us that sometimes, you can do everything right for someone, and they will still turn around and hurt you. To illustrate this, I want to share a traditional folktale called The Farmer and the Crocodile.
A farmer was walking by the river one day when he spotted a crocodile tangled hopelessly in a strong fishing net. The crocodile, seeing a chance for escape, turned on the waterworks. He wept and begged, "Please, brother man, cut this net. If you save me, I will be eternally grateful."
The crocodile stepped free, stretched his massive limbs, and—SNAP. He immediately grabbed the farmer’s leg between his jaws.
"What are you doing?" the farmer cried in terror. "I just saved your life!"
"Yes," the crocodile replied coldly. "But I am hungry. And the way of the world is that good deeds are repaid with bad."
Desperate to stall, the farmer begged to find three judges to decide if this betrayal was fair.
The First Judge (The Old Mat): They asked an old mat lying on the riverbank. It said, "I was used for years, then thrown away. Eat him."
The Second Judge (The Old Horse): They asked an old horse, who said, "I worked until my back broke, then I was abandoned. Eat him."
It seemed the crocodile was right. The world was ungrateful. But finally, they asked a Rabbit (the trickster figure of folklore).
The Rabbit pretended to be confused. "I cannot judge unless I see exactly how it happened," the Rabbit said. "Show me how you were caught."
Frustrated, the crocodile crawled back into the net to demonstrate. "Like this!" he snapped.
In a flash, the Rabbit tied the net tight again.
"Now," said the Rabbit to the farmer, "you have your life back. Run away. Not everyone appreciates kindness, and you must know who you are saving."
So, how does this relate to the "Holiday Mental Health Check-In" mentioned in the image?
During the holidays, many of us play the role of the Farmer. We see people in "nets" (crises, drama, financial trouble) and we rush to cut them loose because we are good people.
But we have to remember the lesson of the Rabbit. Blind charity can be dangerous.
If you have people in your life who act like the crocodile—people who take your help and repay you with "kicks" or drama—it is not your job to keep saving them.
This season, protecting your mental health might mean acting a little less like the Farmer and a little more like the Rabbit. It means recognizing that:
Boundaries are necessary.
Not everyone receives kindness with grace.
It is okay to walk away (or leave the net tied) to protect your own peace.
Don't let the "donkey's kicks" bruise your spirit this year. Know who you are saving.
Have you ever experienced a "donkey kick" after helping someone? Let me know in the comments how you handled it.
"You worry too much about what goes into your mouth and not enough about what comes out of it." - Chef Leah Chase
Happy Sunday. Take a deep breath.
If you’re reading this, pause for a second. Look at the image above—that peaceful, closed-eye stillness. That is the energy we are trying to tap into today. We are nearing the end of the year (can you believe it's late December?), and the world often feels like it's spinning faster just when we need it to slow down.
For today's Mental Health Check-In, I want to ground us in a piece of profound wisdom that validates exactly where you are right now.
There is an African proverb that says:
"The eye never forgets what the heart has seen."
It’s a short sentence, but it carries the weight of a lifetime.
At its core, this proverb is a deep acknowledgement of emotional memory and trauma. It validates a truth we often try to ignore: what affects us emotionally (the heart) leaves a lasting imprint on our perspective (the eye).
We live in a culture that loves to say, "get over it," or "leave the past in the past." But this wisdom reminds us that we don't just "move on" from things that broke our hearts or shook our spirits. Those experiences change the lens through which we view the world.
If your heart has seen betrayal, your eyes might look for hidden motives.
If your heart has seen deep kindness, your eyes might look for hope in dark places.
This isn't about holding onto grudges or pain; it's about honoring the fact that you are different now because of what you have survived.
So, as we sit with this thought today, let’s do a gentle check-in. You don't have to fix anything right now; just observe.
Acknowledge the View: Is there a situation currently making you anxious or weary? Ask yourself: Is my reaction coming from what is happening right now, or is it my eye remembering what my heart has seen before?
Validate Your Reality: Instead of judging yourself for being sensitive or guarded, try saying, "It makes sense that I feel this way, given what I've been through."
Rest Your Eyes: Like the image above, sometimes the best thing you can do for a tired perspective is to close your eyes, shut out the external noise, and just let your heart rest.
Take it easy today. You have seen a lot, and you are still standing. That is worth celebrating—quietly, peacefully, and with a lot of grace.
"You worry too much about what goes into your mouth and not enough about what comes out of it." - Chef Leah Chase
Happy Sunday, everyone.
I was scrolling through my feed this morning, getting ready for the week, when I stumbled across a quote by Keri Hilson that stopped me mid-swipe. You might have seen it floating around, but I think it deserves more than just a double-tap. It deserves a deep breath and a moment of real silence.
She said: "You don't owe anyone years of your life in exchange for the decline of your mental and emotional health."
Read that again.
We live in a culture that loves to romanticize "sticking it out." We give gold medals for suffering in silence. We pride ourselves on loyalty—loyalty to jobs that drain us, relationships that diminish us, and friendships that have long since expired. We look at the calendar and think, "Well, I've already put five years into this. I can't just walk away now."
But here is the hard truth that Keri’s quote brings to the surface: Time is not a currency you should use to buy your own unhappiness.
There is this heavy feeling of debt we carry, isn't there? We feel we owe people our presence because of shared history.
"We've been friends since high school."
"This company gave me my first shot."
"My partner and I have been through so much together."
History is valuable, yes. But history is not a suicide pact for your spirit. Just because you have spent a long time making a mistake doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life making it.
Everything has a cost. Usually, we think in terms of money or time. But what if we started pricing things in terms of our mental health?
If a job pays you a six-figure salary but requires you to live in a state of constant, high-cortisol panic, that job is too expensive.
If a relationship offers you security but requires you to walk on eggshells every single day to avoid an explosion, that relationship is too expensive.
If a friendship offers you nostalgia but leaves you feeling drained and unworthy after every coffee date, that friendship is too expensive.
Walking away often feels like a betrayal. We worry we are being selfish or flaky. But preserving your mental and emotional health isn't an act of betrayal against someone else; it is an act of rescue for yourself.
You are the only person who has to live inside your head 24/7. You are the custodian of your own peace. If the environment you are in is toxic, you cannot heal. You cannot grow. You are just surviving. And you don't owe anyone your survival mode.
So, for this Sunday Mental Health Check-In, I want you to ask yourself the uncomfortable question:
What am I currently paying for with my peace of mind?
Is there a situation where you are trading your emotional stability for someone else's comfort? Are you staying somewhere solely because you feel like you "owe" them your time?
Let this be your permission slip. You don't owe them. You owe yourself a chance to be happy. You owe yourself a future that looks brighter than your past.
Take care of your heart this week. It’s the only one you’ve got.
— Your Sunday Reset
"You worry too much about what goes into your mouth and not enough about what comes out of it." - Chef Leah Chase
