Wednesday Follow Up to Sunday's Mental Health Check In

 

Trauma says: 'Keep them at all costs.' Healing says: 'Keep yourself first.'

 A Note to Readers: These entries are simply a collection of personal self-check-ins shared by a woman on her own journey. They are intended to encourage you to pause and check in with yourself, but they are not a replacement for professional support. I encourage everyone to seek the help of a licensed therapist or counselor if they need guidance in navigating their own mental health.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or experiencing a mental health crisis, please call or text 988 (in the US) or contact your local emergency services immediately.

"Trauma says: 'Keep them at all costs.' Healing says: 'Keep yourself first.'

For a long time, I thought healing meant I’d stop being afraid. But the truth? The fear didn't disappear—it just moved. I stopped being afraid of an empty chair at the table, and started being terrified of sitting in a room full of people and not recognizing the woman in the mirror.

In this week’s Sunday Mental Health Check-In, we are unpacking the difference between a survival response and a healing standard.

📝 Hear the full entry, https://substack.com/@rakiaari/note/c-201655013?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=7p8aq.

This Week’s Mantra Rooted in Wisdom

"If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm." - African Proverb

(Meaning: When you are secure in who you are (healing), the actions of others (trauma/rejection) lose their power to hurt you.)

#TheAkuaProjects #RakiaAri #HealingJourney #ChooseYourself #MentalHealthBlog"

Sunday's Mental Health Check In - December 21, 2025

Sunday Mental Health Check-In: The Heart’s Memory

Happy Sunday. Take a deep breath.

If you’re reading this, pause for a second. Look at the image above—that peaceful, closed-eye stillness. That is the energy we are trying to tap into today. We are nearing the end of the year (can you believe it's late December?), and the world often feels like it's spinning faster just when we need it to slow down.

For today's Mental Health Check-In, I want to ground us in a piece of profound wisdom that validates exactly where you are right now.

The Wisdom of the Week

There is an African proverb that says:

"The eye never forgets what the heart has seen."

It’s a short sentence, but it carries the weight of a lifetime.

What It Means for Us

At its core, this proverb is a deep acknowledgement of emotional memory and trauma. It validates a truth we often try to ignore: what affects us emotionally (the heart) leaves a lasting imprint on our perspective (the eye).

We live in a culture that loves to say, "get over it," or "leave the past in the past." But this wisdom reminds us that we don't just "move on" from things that broke our hearts or shook our spirits. Those experiences change the lens through which we view the world.

• If your heart has seen betrayal, your eyes might look for hidden motives.

• If your heart has seen deep kindness, your eyes might look for hope in dark places.

This isn't about holding onto grudges or pain; it's about honoring the fact that you are different now because of what you have survived.

Your Sunday Reflection

So, as we sit with this thought today, let’s do a gentle check-in. You don't have to fix anything right now; just observe.

1. Acknowledge the View: Is there a situation currently making you anxious or weary? Ask yourself: Is my reaction coming from what is happening right now, or is it my eye remembering what my heart has seen before?

2. Validate Your Reality: Instead of judging yourself for being sensitive or guarded, try saying, "It makes sense that I feel this way, given what I've been through."

3. Rest Your Eyes: Like the image above, sometimes the best thing you can do for a tired perspective is to close your eyes, shut out the external noise, and just let your heart rest.

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Take it easy today. You have seen a lot, and you are still standing. That is worth celebrating—quietly, peacefully, and with a lot of grace.

Sunday Mental Health Check-In October 19, 2025

Sunday Self-Care: The Power of Gentle Hindsight

Happy Sunday!

The end of the week always feels like a great time to take a breath and check in with ourselves. How are you really doing? Did the week rush by? Are you carrying any baggage you picked up along the way?

As we ease into this mental health moment, let's talk about a major energy drainer: self-recrimination—that nasty habit of looking back on our past actions, decisions, or missteps and absolutely tearing ourselves down.

You know the script. You remember that awkward thing you said five years ago, that job you quit, or that chance you didn't take, and the same old, harsh questions pop up: “What was I thinking?” followed by the immediate, aggressive self-critique: “I was an idiot. I should have known better.”

If you’re nodding your head right now, trust me, you are not alone. We've all been there.

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Moving from Judgment to Inquiry

Here is the central idea we want to hold onto today, an idea that can fundamentally shift your relationship with your past:

Review your past with gentle eyes. Stop beating yourself up about your past. Instead examine and learn with questions, “What was I thinking?” and “What was I learning?”

That little shift from "What was I thinking?" to "What was I learning?" is revolutionary.

The first question is a judgment. It stops the conversation and places you in the defendant's chair, waiting for a harsh sentence. It assumes you had all the information and wisdom then that you have now. (Spoiler alert: You didn't.)

The second question, "What was I learning?" is an inquiry. It opens the door to curiosity, empathy, and growth. It assumes that every moment, even the messy ones, served as a classroom.

Gentle Hindsight is Honest, Not Permissive

This isn't about letting yourself off the hook entirely; it's about treating your past self with the same kindness and compassion you’d offer a dear friend.

When you look back on a mistake through the lens of learning, you can honestly identify what went wrong without defaulting to self-hatred. Maybe you learned:

• You need better boundaries.

• To trust your gut, even when it’s scary.

• That you are more resilient than you thought.

• That certain environments or people drain your energy.

When you focus on the lesson, the mistake transforms from a permanent stain on your character into a simple, valuable piece of data that informs how you live today.

Your Past Self Did the Best They Could

Remember this simple truth: Your past self was operating with the information, emotional capacity, and resilience they had at that exact moment. They didn't have the benefit of your current wisdom, which was only gained by going through that specific experience.

So, this Sunday, give yourself the ultimate gift: gentle hindsight. Close your eyes for a moment, take a deep breath, and send a wave of kindness back to the younger, less-informed version of you. Thank them for going through that so the current version of you could learn and grow.

You are not a sum of your mistakes; you are the beautiful, complex result of everything you've ever learned.

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Your Sunday Check-In Challenge:

Pick one thing from the last week—or even the last year—that you’ve been mentally beating yourself up about.

1. Acknowledge the feeling: Recognize the disappointment or frustration without judgment.

2. Ask the new question: Instead of asking, "Why did I mess that up?" ask, "What was the most important thing I learned from that situation?"

3. Write it down: Write the lesson on a small piece of paper. Then, try to let the regret go.

Take care of yourself today. You deserve that gentle perspective.

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What's one thing you're letting go of this week? Let us know below!