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Title: The Donkey’s Kick: A Holiday Mental Health Reality Check
If you look closely at the image attached to this post, you’ll see it’s labeled as a "Holiday Mental Health Check-In" from The Akua Project. And honestly? It couldn't be more timely.
The holidays are often framed as the season of endless giving. We give our time, our energy, our money, and our emotional bandwidth. But there is a very specific, stinging type of pain that comes when that generosity is met not with thanks, but with hostility.
The image shares a West African proverb that captures this feeling perfectly:
"The way a donkey expresses gratitude is by giving someone a bunch of kicks."
It’s a warning about ingratitude. It reminds us that sometimes, you can do everything right for someone, and they will still turn around and hurt you. To illustrate this, I want to share a traditional folktale called The Farmer and the Crocodile.
The Story: The Trap of Blind Charity
A farmer was walking by the river one day when he spotted a crocodile tangled hopelessly in a strong fishing net. The crocodile, seeing a chance for escape, turned on the waterworks. He wept and begged, "Please, brother man, cut this net. If you save me, I will be eternally grateful."
The farmer was a kind soul. Moved by the creature's tears, he took out his knife and cut the net.
The crocodile stepped free, stretched his massive limbs, and—SNAP. He immediately grabbed the farmer’s leg between his jaws.
"What are you doing?" the farmer cried in terror. "I just saved your life!"
"Yes," the crocodile replied coldly. "But I am hungry. And the way of the world is that good deeds are repaid with bad."
Desperate to stall, the farmer begged to find three judges to decide if this betrayal was fair.
The First Judge (The Old Mat): They asked an old mat lying on the riverbank. It said, "I was used for years, then thrown away. Eat him."
The Second Judge (The Old Horse): They asked an old horse, who said, "I worked until my back broke, then I was abandoned. Eat him."
It seemed the crocodile was right. The world was ungrateful. But finally, they asked a Rabbit (the trickster figure of folklore).
The Rabbit pretended to be confused. "I cannot judge unless I see exactly how it happened," the Rabbit said. "Show me how you were caught."
Frustrated, the crocodile crawled back into the net to demonstrate. "Like this!" he snapped.
In a flash, the Rabbit tied the net tight again.
"Now," said the Rabbit to the farmer, "you have your life back. Run away. Not everyone appreciates kindness, and you must know who you are saving."
The "Mental Health Check-In"
So, how does this relate to the "Holiday Mental Health Check-In" mentioned in the image?
During the holidays, many of us play the role of the Farmer. We see people in "nets" (crises, drama, financial trouble) and we rush to cut them loose because we are good people.
But we have to remember the lesson of the Rabbit. Blind charity can be dangerous.
If you have people in your life who act like the crocodile—people who take your help and repay you with "kicks" or drama—it is not your job to keep saving them.
This season, protecting your mental health might mean acting a little less like the Farmer and a little more like the Rabbit. It means recognizing that:
Boundaries are necessary.
Not everyone receives kindness with grace.
It is okay to walk away (or leave the net tied) to protect your own peace.
Don't let the "donkey's kicks" bruise your spirit this year. Know who you are saving.
Have you ever experienced a "donkey kick" after helping someone? Let me know in the comments how you handled it.
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